This Time In My Words

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  • Caught in the Middle of a Life-Sized Crapnado (and Still Moving Anyway)

    Some Seasons don’t whisper, “Hey, things might get a bit tricky.” They scream, “Buckle up, legend…we’re about to test all your coping mechanisms at once.” I’m currently mid-spin in one of those life-sized crapnados. I’ve got a heart surgery looming. A literal surgery on my heart, which sounds very dramatic (not that its the organ…

  • This Is What Love Looks Like, Too

    Spinning the Chaos Into Something Good I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve stood in the middle of my kitchen, holding back tears, while the kettle boils and my toddler asks me for the fifth snack she won’t eat. The washing’s in the machine, but I’ve forgotten it three cycles in a row. Dinner’s…

  • The Diagnosis Didn’t Fix It—But It Named It

    Before I Knew I lived a long time without knowing I had ADHD. I just thought I was scattered. Lazy. Too emotional. I thought I was the problem that couldn’t be solved— always almost getting it right, but not quite. Always one step behind what everyone else seemed to do so easily. I was the…

  • Anxiety: The Loudest & Quiet Thing

    It Doesn’t Always Look Like Panic Anxiety isn’t always screaming. It’s not always a breakdown or a racing heart or a full-blown panic attack in public. Sometimes, it’s quieter than that. Sometimes, it’s waking up and feeling like you’ve already failed and the day hasn’t even started. It’s needing constant reassurance but feeling annoying for…

  • The Things I Learned Too Young

    There are things I learned as a child that no child should have to learn.You might relate—but our pain wears different faces.The world isn’t always cruel on purpose. People don’t always mean to hurt you. But sometimes they do. And sometimes… they know exactly what they’re doing. Before I Had Words, I Had Awareness I…

  • Where I Began

    The First Lesson I don’t remember the exact day it happened.But I remember the feeling. I was young—too young to understand emotions, but old enough to feel the weight of them.Something had happened that hurt. I don’t remember exactly what it was… or maybe I do, but I’m not ready to say it out loud.…